Tag Archives: film review

Movie Review: No 60. A Clockwork Orange

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Movie Review: No 60. A Clockwork Orange

I came here to drink milk and kick ass… and I’ve just finished my milk.

Ok, that’s not a quote from this movie… but it should be!

My challenger, Tara, came over last night to join me in watching the last of the imdb Top 100 movies. ‘A Clockwork Orange’ was her choice for the final film. I’d just like to point that out because I do not care to take responsibility for the infliction of that gruesomeness upon my otherwise happy home.

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Movie Review: No 89. Metropolis

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Movie Review: No 89. Metropolis

The credits for ‘Metropolis’ give a fair indication of what you can expect from the film:

‘Grot, the Guardian of the Heart-Machine’ played by Heinrich George
‘The Creative Man’, ‘The Machine Man’, ‘Death’, ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’, and ‘Maria’ played by Brigitte Helm

Oh, and there’s a sculptor too. But he’s not a character – he was responsible for the creation of the robot costume…

Yep.

Movie Review: No 65. Das Boot

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Movie Review: No 65. Das Boot

There are only “nein” days left of my challenge, so now seems a highly appropriate time to review another German movie!

Allow me to introduce you to the movie ‘Das Boot’ by way of an analogy:

Watching ‘Das Boot’ is a lot like playing a game of ‘Battleship’…

Movie Review: No 98. Princess Mononoke

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Movie Review: No 98. Princess Mononoke

Worst. Movie. Ever.

I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve watched a shedload of terrible movies since I started this challenge but none, not even ‘Once Upon a Time in the West‘, can compare to the sheer shiteness of this piece of Japanese garbage.

Movie Review: No 58. The Lives of Others

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Movie Review: No 58. The Lives of Others

Those who know me know that I am a big fan of colour. I love colour. Colour makes me happy. Watching over 2 hours of “50 shades of brown and grey” does not. Although, for those playing at home, there are plenty of sex scenes (if you’re into that kind of thing!)

You’ve gotta give it to them… the many slight variations of brown and grey in this supposedly ‘colour’ film would rival a Dulux paint chart. It’s almost as bleak as the detox diet I started this week.

The film is set in the 80s. I was born in the 80s and I distinctly remember it being a colourful era. Not so for the poor East Germans…

Movie Review: No 76. Chinatown

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Movie Review: No 76. Chinatown

This movie has received the following accolades:

  • The line “Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.” was voted as the #74 movie quote by the American Film Institute and #71 by Premiere (it also featured on The Simpsons);
  • In 2007, the American Film Institute ranked it as the #21 Greatest Movie of All Time;
  • In 2008, the American Film Institute ranked it #2 on the list of the 10 greatest films in the ‘Mystery’ genre;
  • It’s number 76 on imdb’s Top 250 movies list; and…
  • It has now received 4 lousy, stinkin’, semi-rotten pumpkins on the Top 30 Countdown scale of overall movie whelmingness.

A much worthier film once posed the question, “I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”

And to that I say “Yes. Watch this movie”.

Movie Review: No 62. Life is Beautiful

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Movie Review: No 62. Life is Beautiful

If, like me, you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you will remember these fun-loving city-slickers:

perfect-strangers-1

But, if I were to tell you that watching ‘Life is Beautiful’ is like watching a feature-length episode of ‘Perfect Strangers’, what would you say to me?

I hope you’d say, “Don’t be ridi-cool-us”.

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Movie Review: No 13. Seven Samurai

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Movie Review: No 13. Seven Samurai

What do you get when you cross bad bald caps, weird eyebrows and rice wine?

You get a Kurosawa film of course!

I can’t decide which is his signature; the weird eyebrows or the overacting.

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Movie Review: No 67. Requiem for a Dream

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Movie Review: No 67. Requiem for a Dream

Marion: Anybody wanna waste some time?

Spoiler alert! This movie is not a dream, it’s a nightmare.

Had I a more solid vocabulary I might even have been about to tell you that before I watched it.

req·ui·em/ˈrekwēəm/
Noun
1. (esp. in the Roman Catholic Church) A Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
2. A musical composition setting parts of such a Mass, or of a similar character.

In this case, sadly, it is the dreams that meet their untimely demise.

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