Movie Review: No 97. Unforgiven

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Movie Review: No 97. Unforgiven

Lately I’ve been starting to feel like I’m running out of decent movies on the Top 100 list and, you know what? I think my feelings are pretty accurate.

How this piece of utter garbage made it to the Top 100 movies of all time list is beyond me.

I’ve been talking about doing this for a while, and now I’m finally going to do it. I’m going to tally up all the gangster/killer/war/wild west films on this godforsaken list to prove to you that there is a serious bias going on here.

Of the 70 films that I have seen so far, there are 9 that could loosely be termed “gangster films”. That’s nearly 13%! At least 9 more films centre around a killer or killers. There are 10 sci-fi/fantasies and 7 war films. 4 action/adventure films, 2 that are set in jails and one weird-arse anime. Then, of course, there are the 3 Westerns.

Even the lone romance (Casablanca) is set during war-time. And the lone comedy (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) is all about knights, and includes highly violent (though no less ridiculous) scenes such as the exploding of a rabbit, the de-limbing and beheading of the black knight, and the stabbing of countless wedding guests and the bride herself. At least 8 of the dramas, some of which you might nudge towards the “chick flick” category, (Vertigo, The Apartment, American Beauty, Forrest Gump, Inception, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Sunset Blvd. and It’s a Wonderful Life) involve suicide or suicide attempts. 8!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

To say that I am disappointed would be an understatement. Cinema is full of masterpieces and I end up with the most gruesome, violent monstrosities that it has to offer.

But, I have committed to watching and reviewing each one, so here I go…

‘Unforgiven’ is a thoroughly boring film in much the same way that many Westerns are boring. The plot is sluggish and the characters are all thoroughly unlikeable.

The one kernel of hope in this film for me was the display of sisterly solidarity between a group of prostitutes. They banded together to raise enough money to put a price on the heads of the two men who took to the face of one of their own with a knife. $500 each. You go girlfriends!

Man: Murderin’ whores!

Strawberry Alice: [screaming out the window] HE HAD IT COMING! THEY ALL HAVE IT COMING!

Clint Eastwood starred in, directed and produced this film. He’s clearly not quite willing to let go of his gun-slinging typecast roles just yet, although ‘William Munny’ is not a patch on ‘Blondie‘, and watching him try to recreate the past – and fail – is just a little bit sad. What’s worse is he drags Morgan Freeman and Gene Hackman into his little ego vortex.

Perhaps it is because I enjoy writing, but I found the most interesting part to be the retelling of English Bob’s “biography”. If only the whole film had played out with such an intriguing plot I would have been satisfied.

It’s not that I hate Westerns. I actually have a bit of a soft spot for Westerns. I just thoroughly object to such a poor example hitting the Top 100 list over worthier films. Where is Titanic? Where is E.T.? Some of the highest grossing films of all time don’t even make the list and here I am watching Clint Eastwood fumble around in search of his twenties. It’s just not on.

3 pumpkins.

Have you seen ‘Unforgiven’? Do you agree with my review? Let me know in the comments below.

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9 responses »

  1. None of the mentioned “chick flick” movies are even remotely chick-flicky.

    Don’t get upset though because I have a move gem waiting for you to watch as soon as I can give it to you.

    • I did say “nudge towards”, but I suppose I meant “chick flick” as opposed to “boy movie”, which are rife in this list.

      You know what, you’re right. There’s not a single genuine “chick flick” on the list, which just goes to prove my point that there is a terrible bias going on here!

  2. All is not lost. You still have Spielbergs Schindlers List. But don’t expect to feel warm & fuzzy afterwards. Doesn’t a wedding scene qualify Holy grail as a chick flick?

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