If I should die before I wake…

If I should die before I wake…

It was my future sister-in-law, Ally, who suggested the list item ‘Go wakeboarding’ (and since I’m still in the stage where I have to try and impress Andy’s family, I probably need to go along with it!)

To be fair, Ally did give me the alternative of eating a fish eyeball, but as scared as I am about nailing myself out there, I think I’d still prefer to eat dirt than eye-sushi.

Making it a sisterly trifecta, my sister Claire and her man were generous enough to give Andy and I a ‘Wakeboarding on the Hawkesbury’ voucher as an engagement present! (Now we really have to do it). A unique engagement gift to be sure!

The great thing about the ‘Top 30 list’ is that it has opened me up to so many new experiences. To be honest, I had never really considered wakeboarding and, had I not asked Ally for a suggestion for the list, I probably never would have. Instead I would have gone to my grave in a far less arially-artistic fashion. This way I at least get to go up before I go down.

Just promise me you won’t scatter my ashes over the water??

Problem is, I lack a fundamental life skill known as “coordination”. The closest I’ve come to wakeboarding is snowboarding, and my fellow snow bunnies (Ally included) can tell you I pretty much got jack of that trade before I could master it. Prior to snowboarding, it was surfing. That is, if you classify “surfing” as standing up on the board once, on a wave that could better be described as a ripple, then coasting towards shore so slowly and gradually that you come to a complete stop with little else to do but jump back into the water… It’s hardly the stuff of heart-racing, adrenalin-pumping action.

Then again, I did once get out on a boat to go “doughnuting”. I learned some new arial tricks that day, that’s for sure… though none of them were intentional (and for me to replicate them you’d have to get me back out there… which ‘aint likely to happen anytime soon). Let’s just say I combined just a hint of grace with a backflipping-faceplant. 10 out of 10!

I don’t really know what to expect from our wakeboarding adventure… apart from bruises over 80% of my body and a complete upstaging by Andy (who got my share of coordination in the skills lottery and then some). Andy is always out chasing his next thrill. I half expect him to master it on his first go and then take it up on a regular basis.

Luke Webber

His spine may be kaput but he’s got a lotta backbone!

I may not be able to control myself on that board, but the one thing I can control is the temperature, so I know we won’t be getting out there for a few months yet. In the meantime I am left to imagine all the wildly exoctic ways in which my limbs could become detached from my body in the process of trying to execute a 2 inch jump.

Are you a thrill-seeker like Andy or a risk-averse homebody like me? What gets your adrenalin pumping?


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