It’s Mac time!

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It’s Mac time!

The World is a-flap with yesterday’s news that the Head Chef of the Canadian branch of McDonald’s revealed the secret ingredients of the Big Mac not-so-special sauce in a tell-all video (sponsored by the franchise of course). I flapped about a bit myself, considering I’ll have to replicate the sauce if I’m going to succeed at list item number 15: ‘Host a homemade McDonald’s dinner party’.

You might think a “homemade McDonald’s dinner party” an unusual item to add to my ’30 things to try before I’m 30′ list, but I barely batted an eyelid when my childhood friend and neighbour, Pat, suggested it.

Back when we were too young to drive, Pat and I would have to find more local activities to amuse ourselves. You might say that we are both creative types (you might also say we’re insane) but these activities usually involved some sort of masterpiece concocted from items around the house.

There was the time we made our own slip ‘n’ slide out of heavy-duty garbage bags, electrical tape, the garden hose and lots of detergent. I still remember Pat’s brother tossing their terrified dog Alice (who was afraid of water) down the slide at a cracking pace. I’m sure we all copped a few bruises on the slide that day (after all, isn’t substantial bruising part of the fun of slipping ‘n’ sliding?)

Then there was the time we got a bunch of clay and some lead pencils and sat around the barbecue table making “cow pencils” that we hoped to one day sell in our shop called ‘The Nifty Shop’ alongside dead leaves for $1 each or 3 for $5 (Bargain!)

Yeah, flippin’ mental.

Anyway I’m pretty sure we both get at least most of our nuttiness from our respective dads (and the rest from each other) so it’s no surprise that we often looked to them for inspiration.

On one particular afternoon, we got a hankerin’ for some McDonalds. We approached Pat’s Dad and begged him to drive us there, but he wouldn’t have a bar of it. So, in a fit of hypoglycaemic panic, we decided to make our own.

Pat had an actual deep fryer at her place… which at the time I pretty much thought was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. But, that’s pretty much as close as we got to the real McDonald’s. We made our own packaging from grease-proof paper and, in the end, I think the ants enjoyed it more than we did.

However that was all before this revelation about the Big Mac special sauce! We didn’t know that the ingredients included “store-bought mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish, classic yellow mustard, white wine vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika”, as we now know!

Being quite the McDonald’s connoisseur, something about the McDonald’s revelation didn’t sit right with me. First of all, Head Chef Dan Coudreaut didn’t mention anything about quantities, which is a real bummer if you’re trying to perfect it. He didn’t mention brands either, so it’s hard to know which “store-bought mayonnaise”, for example, will produce the best result.

Most importantly, however, he failed to mention a couple of other sneaky items that you might find in the real deal. If I’m going to be accurate, according to the McDonald’s Australia website, I’m going to have to get my hands on a few extra ingredients…

Soybean Oil (Antioxidant (330)), Water, Relish (Pickles, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Distilled Vinegar, Preservative (202), Thickener (415), Natural Flavourings), Mustard (Water, Distilled Vinegar, Mustard Seed, Salt, Sugar, Colours (150d, 100), Spice), Salted Egg Yolks, Distilled Vinegar, Onion, Thickeners (1442, 415, 405), Spices, Sugar, Salt, Hydrolyzed Protein (Corn Gluten, Soy, Wheat Gluten), Preservative (211), Colours (160c, 150d, 100), Emulsifier (433), Garlic, Antioxidant (385)

Mmmm…. hydrolyzed protein!

That’s ok though… I have a “secret ingredient” of my own when it comes to homemade McDonald’s… I can’t wait to show you all what it is! Stay tuned…

Did your imagination run away with you as a kid? What crazy antics did you get up to? Let us know in the comments below!

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4 responses »

  1. Growing up I was lucky enough to have most of my primary and high school friends living on the same street in Mt Colah. On many many occasions we were faced with hurdles, thought of brilliant solutions to them followed by moments of realisation that our solutions were flawed and then laughing hysterically at ourselves. For instance, my parents refused to drive my best friend and I to coles for a late night sleepover/movie snack. We decided that walking 8km’s for maltesers was worth it and enjoyed eating it in the Coles Asquith carpark. Everything was great until we realised that we actually had to walk the 8kms back. Another memory was my strong desire to have a couch in my bedroom, just like my best friend, but my parents refused to buy me one saying things like “there isn’t any room for a couch” etc etc. On our way home from school we spotted a couch in the kerbside collection and decided that surely my parents would change their mind (and there would suddenly be room in my bedroom for a used wet couch) to drag it from one side of Mt Colah to the other. All well and good until we were met by my mother at the top of the driveway who was not as impressed as we had thought and that I wasn’t allowed to keep it.

    • Haha we should have been neighbours Amanda! My friend Tara and I once walked 6km from our homes to Erina Fair. I have no recollection why, although I suspect Maccas may have been involved then as well! 😛 The things we do for junk food hey…

  2. I think I still have a cow pencil somewhere – not used because the bastards were too top heavy to write anything Hahahaha. reminiscing with u is always hilarious – the drama plays where we dressed up as birds, the seances at the busstop performed in a hope that a passing at would freak out, the mushroom shrine, “SPREAD OUT!!!” and of course my favs – the time u fell off the bus, down the stairs, on the street in front of a bus, the photo album that fell on your head (or at least that’s what eventuated in my head) and the bum scooting down your stairs which almost resulted in me being brain damaged… almost.. hahaha good times mund. but just because this is a childhood flashback it doesn’t mean the quality is sub-29 year old standard. after all McDonald’s menu has improved.

    • I just love how all you favourite memories involve me sustaining either a massive head injury or being borne down upon by a moving vehicle…
      To be fair, falling down the stairs on the bus was pretty funny (it’s lucky I had a sense of humour about these things because many teenage girls would not!) Nearly being run over by a bus was slightly less funny… (although I do remember you standing on the safety of the grass laughing quite hard so perhaps it was funnier than it seemed?) 😛

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